BMW M3 Touring 2023 review

‘All the car you will ever need.’ It’s a well-worn cliché, frequently used in the same sentence as ‘3 Series Touring’. BMW’s upwardly-mobile estate car has been the answer to most motoring questions for decades. But now it has rushed into a phonebox, pulled on a pair of red underpants and emerged as the M3 Touring.

Is this pumped-up Wonder Wagon all the car you will ever need? Or the answer to a question nobody asked?

The original ‘E30’ M3 debuted in 1986, and BMW has waited six generations to launch a Touring derivative. There are good reasons for that, however. Despite their cult status among enthusiasts, both versions of the larger M5 Touring sold in tiny numbers. And these days, the majority of buyers prefer super-sized SUVs to traditional estate cars. More fool them.

Let’s stance

The M3 Touring is only available in Competition xDrive spec, which means 510hp from a 3.0-litre turbocharged six, an eight-speed automatic gearbox and four-wheel drive. It weighs 85kg more than the four-door M3 saloon and performance is almost identical: 0-62mph in 3.6 seconds and 155mph flat-out – or 174mph if you specify the M Sport Pro Package. 

Speaking of options, the Touring starts from £80,550, but the price of my car swelled to £103,135 after all the extras – from carbon-ceramic brakes (£7,995) to retro ‘50th anniversary’ M badges (£300) – had been totted up. That’s an alarming amount of money for a 3 Series.

It does look special, though. Muscular wheelarches wrap around the staggered alloy rims (19 inches at the front, 20s at the rear) for a lowered, millimetre-perfect stance. Like the Man of Steel himself, the M3 bulges in all the right places.

There’s no avoiding BMW’s awful ‘beaver teeth’ grille, of course, but choosing a darker paint colour does minimise its impact.

Slide away

Inside, you’ll find a 14.9-inch widescreen media system, Harman/Kardon hi-fi, heated electric seats and natty seatbelts with BMW M stripes. It all feels suitably plush and premium, although the lack of physical switches means you are endlessly jabbing the touchscreen and delving into sub-menus. As for the gaudy driver display… what happened to the no-nonsense clarity BMW was famed for?    

This being an estate, I should also mention luggage space. A 500-litre boot isn’t class-leading, but the M3 is very practical for a performance car. It also retains the 3 Series Touring’s useful split tailgate, so you can simply lift the glass to drop in lighter loads. 

The best compliment I can pay the Touring is that it drives exactly like an M3. Brilliantly, in other words. Its steering is meaty and precise, damping is superb and the chassis feels beautifully balanced.

Find a long, flowing bend (or perhaps a quiet roundabout) and you sense the front end bite, adjusting your angle of attack with the throttle before xDrive traction slingshots you onwards. You soon forget this is an estate car.  

Need for speed

In a world of lightning-quick EVs, the BMW’s stats no longer seem so spectacular. From behind the wheel, though, it’s still a ferociously fast car. The big-lunged S58 engine pulls with explosive energy from low revs all the way to a 7,600rpm redline. Its straight-six snarl sounds pleasingly authentic, too, despite being augmented by the stereo speakers.

The only chink in the M3’s armour is a conventional automatic transmission, which isn’t as quick or crisp as a dual-clutch ’box. You’ll rarely notice the difference, though.

Worth the 37-year wait? You bet. Despite a few flaws, the M3 Touring makes a strong case for being the ultimate family wagon. Its price precludes it from being a car I could regularly recommend, and besides, nobody really needs a car like this. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting one.

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