Women: are you afraid of the big, bad cars that haunt the city streets? Do you cower in fear at the mere thought of getting behind the wheel of the car owned by your husband or boyfriend?
Fear no more, because SEAT has built a car for ‘active young women who are really going places’. And by ‘places’, we suspect SEAT means the shops. Or cookery classes. Or the kitchen. Step forward: the SEAT Mii by Cosmopolitan.
That’s right, ladies, if you want your time spent behind the wheel to be as ‘engaging and exciting as every other facet of [your] busy, fun and fearless’ life, this is the car for you. And no, you haven’t woken up in the 1950s.
Of course, as a woman, you know your place. And right now, SEAT hopes that place is behind the wheel of ‘a car that understands the feminine side and lifestyle of the fun and fearless Cosmo girl’.
This feminine side extends to the ‘eyeliner-shape’ headlights, which are ‘emphasised in the same way as make-up emphasises the eye’. Even the alloy wheels offer a ‘surprise sparkle’. It’s like reading an extract from a Boots cosmetics catalogue.
Being a woman, your macho partner might not have explained the ins and outs of a car, so this handy guide to some of the Mii’s key features might help. You’ll find a Bic ‘For Her’ in the bottom of your handbag, in case you want to make some notes.
- Hill Hold Control: to prevent roll-back
- Air conditioning: to keep you cool
- Optional parking sensors: to assist with that devilishly difficult activity
This is a major leap forward for equality and, as this recent SEAT promotional film reveals, ‘the woman driver can be very good’. Indeed, the film even claims that ‘when they’re good, they’re just as good as men’.
Hard to believe, right? Just watch for men ‘wobbling about’ and be sure to keep your ‘temper when the lights go red’.
The SEAT Mii by Cosmopolitan goes on sale early next year. If you have any further questions, you’ll find us in the drawing room, talking about politics and football. You know, man’s stuff.