Thinking of heading to Glastonbury this year? Chances are you’re going to need a set of wheels. Ever helpful, we stood knee-deep in mud for a few hours and knocked back a bottle of cider before selecting the ‘best’ wheels for the job. It’s all part of the service, man.
We couldn’t start with any other vehicle. The iconic Volkswagen Camper is as much a part of festival culture as music, mud and cider. Don’t expect to arrive at Glastonbury in record time (if at all), but at least you won’t need to erect a tent.
For all its charm and character, there’s always a question mark over the Camper’s reliability. A trip along the A303 or the A30 in the height of summer provides enough evidence of that. For a little reassurance and comfort, check out the Volkswagen California. Less of an icon, but no less in-demand.
It won’t have escaped your notice that Glastonbury tends to get quite muddy. Even if the rain stays away – which it won’t – the ground is still churned up by endless vehicles and the trampling of Hunter wellies. So arrive armed with a Land Rover. Just don’t expect to make a quick getaway, because festival-goers will be looking at you for a tow.
In truth, this could be any large estate, but if you’re going to opt for a wagon, it ought to be a Volvo. These things were practically made for festivals; they even came complete with a set of green wellies. Buy one for a few hundred quid, ask Muse to sign the bonnet and sell the car for a big profit. Sorted.
Fiat Panda 4×4
The plucky Fiat Panda 4×4 can show some of the big 4x4s a thing or two. Not only is it far better off road than you’d think, it also has the tiniest of dimensions, enabling you to fit through the smallest of gaps during the mass exodus after the event.
Toyota Hilux Invincible
To survive Glastonbury you need stamina, caffeine and a strong constitution. In short: you need to survive. Which makes the appropriately named Hilux Invincible just the machine. Four-wheel drive for the mud, a double cab for your mates and a general feeling of indestructibility.
Had enough of the music? Tune in to the sound of the Lexus LFA. Working in conjunction with Yamaha’s musical instrument division, the Lexus engineers tuned the engine note using uniquely shaped ribs in the intake manifold cover. The LFA’s chief engineer described the soundtrack as: “The roar of an angel.”
Tesla Model S
Sticking with soundtracks, we’re recommending the Tesla Model S, not for its electric powertrain, but for the fact that the audio volume can be cranked up to 11. That’s so very Spinal Tap.
Citroen H Van
Finding a Citroen H Van that hasn’t been turned into a trendy deli or coffee shop is going to be tough, but think of the benefits. Between acts, you can sell drinks for a vastly inflated fee and return home with a small profit.
Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow
Everybody knows any self-respecting rockstar needs to drive a Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow. And when you’re through with Glastonbury you simply must find the nearest swimming pool in which to ‘park’ your Roller. If it’s good enough for Keith Moon…